Why I Don’t “Do” Sales Calls — And Why My Clients Still Say Yes

About five years ago, I looked around and saw everyone shouting the same thing: Make more money. Make more money. UGH. Yes, we all want money — but is that really the true desire?  That year, without even realizing it, I made $180,000. I was seeing an average of 35 clients a week, with 40–45 on the books. People late-canceled, no-showed, and I was exhausted. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t feel successful. I didn’t even know I’d made that much money until I did my taxes the next year. I was grasping at what I thought I valued: money and success. But those aren’t my values at all. My real values? Freedom. Authenticity. Generosity. Love and connection. Being of service. Empowering others. So I decided maybe I wanted to “work smarter, not harder.” I hired my first business coach. Turns out… she had a one-size-fits-all approach. It was a major waste of money. But I did learn something important: what doesn’t work for me. I often get clarity from the unaligned suggestions people give me. That contrast is useful. I also learned that most business coaches and social media experts have no idea how to market my work. I’m the one telling them what keywords to use. They make big promises and don’t follow through. How many times have I heard, “I’ll personally help you build your funnels,” only to receive templates for chiropractors and medspas? Umm… what? And funnels? I have yet to see one actually work for my kind of work. What I’ve learned over the last five years I don’t want to work with large groups. It drains me. My classes will never be more than 10 people in person, and online I cap at 20. I want to offer individual care, not mass-produced transformation. My desire for freedom, authenticity, and grace shapes how I work and who I attract. I entered a greedy stage for a while — and it blocked me. Generosity is one of my core values. If I’m charging more than I’d pay for my own care, I’m out of alignment. I value a personal approach. I value meeting people where they are and gently helping them move beyond their resistance. I don’t need to manipulate anyone into buying my programs. My ideal clients are ready. They’re eager. They want to expand from desire and possibility, not fear and pressure. I’m not solving problems for people — I’m empowering them to find pleasure, confidence, and self-advocacy. I teach people to have a relationship with sensation and pleasure. To love themselves. To speak their desires in ways that invite connection. My ultimate desire is for my clients to feel as good in their bodies and about their sexual expression as I do. There’s no monetary value you can place on that. People tell me I’ll never be rich. That my revenue will always be limited. They say it like it’s an insult — like I’m a silly woman. I disagree. I am rich in life and love. I am rich in my lack of internalized shame and regret. And that is worth more than any funnel.

As a relationship therapist and coach, I often encounter stories from both men and women who feel victimized by their partners. While some cases involve genuine harm, many examples revolve around self-imposed sacrifices—acts made without the other person even requesting them. I frequently hear about unspoken truths and unexpressed desires. Women often use the word “sacrifice”, claiming they’ve given up so much for their partners. However, when asked whether their partner explicitly requested these sacrifices, they usually admit that no such request was made. In reality, their partners didn’t deny their desires; the women denied themselves. They chose to: Reduce contact with friends to prioritize family time. Forego careers or education due to perceived limitations. Avoid playing favorite songs because of their partner’s preferences. Why do we interpret someone's dislike of our choices as a mandate to change our entire lives? Some women inadvertently limit themselves based on others' preferences and then blame those others. Here’s the truth; no one forces you to change–you made that choice. As mothers, we must indeed need to be loving, attentive, nurturing, and supportive. However, this does not mean sacrificing our individuality. Our music, clothing, and entertainment preferences are a part of who we are. Let’s reject the notion that being a good parent requires suppressing our truest selves.